So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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