i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
