i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
