The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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