Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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