We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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