and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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