When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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