Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
