Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
