So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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