her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
