Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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