I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
