I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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