is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
