Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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