i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
