I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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