maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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