Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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