I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i out mim tonsoeep
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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