But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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