Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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