if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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