So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
