ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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