Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
