Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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