is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
