Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
