He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
