yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize