Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest

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(757): View more from Virginia

he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.

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(770): View more from Georgia

just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.

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(785): View more from Kansas

When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.

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