i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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