11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize