she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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