walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
