Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
