RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
