the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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