he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
