I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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