i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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