I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
