it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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