He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
