he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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