Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
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I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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