i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
