i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
