that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize