I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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