Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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