Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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