So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
