I didn't shave. On purpose
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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