im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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