don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
