He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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