After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
