Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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